Tuesday evening. Dinner, and walk around at Bugis.

Today went out with Rachel, and Jess for dinner and a walk around Bugis.

Over the dinner table, because Jess was so curious about Rachel, so, I got to know a bit more about Rachel’s past. I consider this an “unexpected” catch of the day. ha ha. It was really enjoyable time for me la. As for Jess, I knew her quite well.

Then, we went to shop around. Jess was looking for a new bag, so, the Shopping Queen, (as Rachel claimed herself) led the way. I was like a “kampong boy” to Rachel. Jess was also a bit impressed by Rachel. I said Jess was a bit, as she herself also not “lamp that save oil”, she shop regularly around that area too. I was the most amazed one.

Ok. Anyway, thru the shopping experiences, I learn a bit more what is lady’s taste is toward hand bag. Basically, both of them like the same thing most the time, and I think otherwise. Anyway, 2 to 1, they won.

I also find myself a good place to buy t-shirt when I need one in future.

There was something troubling happen to Jess recently, she was quite at lost. We can’t help much. I only managed to find out more along the walk. I only pray that Jess will one day e drawn to Christ, one that who is able to bring all the comfort to her as much as she needed it.

It was a good night spent with two young ladies. What a privilege… =)

Something I was pondering. I asked Poy already and he already advised me. Yet, I am still pondering…

WFL: Balance Church Lesson 9

Came back from Word For Life class, abbreviate WFL. What is it about? Well, it is a bible class that teach God’s Word and how it is relevant to our daily life. I recall my first WFL class in on “New Believer Class” (Got such thing or not? Can only remember vaguely…), then came the “Basic Doctrine 1”, and then…. More… ha ha. Though some WFL class can be a bit boring, but, it is always blessed to attend WFL, as WFL itself is a blessing to people.

Today supposed to be the last day, but Teck Keong opening sentence is, “Today supposed to be last day…” so, it wasn’t the last day. Anyway, I don’t mind to drag for another week as I enjoyed myself in this WFL class, “The Balance Church”.

I just type out the point that spoke to me most here.

We were on “Lesson 9: Balance as It Relates to Humility”.

1. Real humility is not to place oneself to be the center, but to allow Jesus to be the center of everything.

[This one I knew it very long ago, it is one of key attitude as a Christian I was taught in my younger days. But, many a time, I wasn’t put Jesus in the center of everything, I elevate myself to the throne of my heart often… to place oneself in the center is AKA Selfish, if put it in a simple term. Lord Jesus, help me not to place my interest above You, let my heart always enthrone and crown You as King.]

2. With false humility, a person is afraid of losing face when he cannot accomplish a job.

[This one I can easily identify. A lot of time, I am not willing to try new thing when I am challenge to do thing, not because I felt inadequate, but, it is because I afraid of losing face. Other people may not think I done a bad job, but “Pride” in me think it is such a bad job done…]

3. Because of humility, a person realizes that God can graciously work through his life.

[This is something I must learn to embrace.]

4. To say “I don’t have any ability or gifting” is a sign of false humility.

[I will not say “I don’t have any ability or gifting”, but I often say, “I am not good enough in this area, can ask someone who can do better job?”. The recent such encounter was two week ago, when CC approached me to help to play guitar… and I was truly humbled by CC when she played it herself, she taught me a good lesson…]

5. Faith is that we, plus God, can do everything that He promises and calls us to do.

[Indeed, with faith in heart, we can do everything in Christ who strengthened us, and with faith in heart, we can accomplish great thing for the One who is forever praised. With faith in heart, we have confidence not in our own ability, but in God.

I recalled one small conversation I had with a friend over MSN messenger, I asked if she has confidence on herself. I meant to encourage her to look at herself with more confidence when facing some life issue, and have a better picture of the potential within her. In my heart, I wanted to ask her to trust in God, but she wasn’t a Christian, so I think she may not appreciate it.

Well, if this friend is reading my blog now, I hope one day you will put your trust in Jesus, for He is the one who give you all the confidence you need, and He will be the one who you can ultimate fall back on and have no worry He is not there, because He is the ever faithful friend.]

6. Those who are not humble will dare not declare by faith what God calls them to do.

[BOOM!!! This one struck like the atomic boom that was thrown at Hiroshima & Nagasaki... (I got an interesting article about how the atomic case as recorded in history may be a hoax and a false reports that American tricked Japanese to their surrendering for 2nd World War… but maybe I cover this the other time. +_+ )

How many time I refused to declare and act out what God actually inspired me to do, but because lack of faith, (I thought I lack of faith), but the issue also got to with the “Pride” within me… Jesus, lead me on…]

7. The proud may not dare to set goals because they depend on their natural abilities.

[I always admire my leader who dare to set goal, I understand they set goal not because they think they are able, it is because they believe in God who is able. And, because of their faith, I always encouraged, and inspired to support them…

It is truly required a heart who is humble to set goal, as we understand not every time we able to meet the goal. To have the courage to set goal another after another failure, it is truly admirable and praiseworthy. To set a faith goal, it is to deny the natural ability, and trust in God who can make thing possible.]

Sporty yesterday.

Good Sunday morning. Wake up at about 7.30am, but laze on bed till 8am... The body is a bit aching, particular the upper arm, but it is not as bad as I expected it to be. One thanksgiving point here. =)

Yesterday was a “sporty” day for me. I went to swimming with Poy in the afternoon before we both moved to Kreta Ayer Community Club for 5 to 8 badminton. Me didn’t really swimming much at the pool, only 6 or 8 laps, already grasping for air… well, this is not expected, even though my last exercise was 1 months or 2 months back (can’t really recall, it is really so long ago…) I guess can blamed to the scourging sun, it drained my energy faster than I thought. +_+ learned something from Poy regarding the swimming technique; hopefully my next attempt will be able to last longer. I guess my next visit will be learning front crawl (commonly known as free-style, as all swimmer use this style for free-style competition, the fastest among all swimming pattern).

I thought I will not be playing badminton when I reach CC badminton court. But I guess the interest for this sport “compel” me to do some more exercise. Ha ha. I really enjoyed myself over there. Last time in my previous CG hardly get “kaki” to play badminton, or when I play I hardly sweat, as it is leisure play. This time I found it, and I sweat terribly, and I can even smell my stench after that. After I smell it, I quickly move myself away from any lady, not nice for them to smell it, this is not something to “got suffering, suffer together”. Ha ha.

I got play a few games, never won one game. During my primary school day me and my partner hardly got this kind of result… Next time must do better to win at least one game from Poy, Jason, or, KK. Look forward to the next badminton game.

455B River Valley Road Family Photo

Left to Right:
1st row: Me, Patrick, Long Yew
2nd row: Hoe Ping, Kelvin, Jian An

The first ever family photo ever took in 455B River Valley Road. It was taken on 08 September, the bday of Kelvin. The bday cake was finished by us, Kelvin didn’t even bite one, as he was very sick that day, in Cantonese saying, he is “sick till 7 color in the face”. Ha ha…

Share something on Kelvin… he has been sleeping beside me for 2 years and 3 months… man… I guess he beat my father record… (I not sure if my father sleep beside me for so long in my childhood, I shall find out…) he is a very gentle and patience brother, though he deny that, but 5 of us affirm that. A ever ready bro to put his time and talent into service, a great life example for me to model after… if any gal like to know more about his daily living, I think no one can give a more comprehensive account, (let’s not count God in). he is one of the brother that I will talk thru the midnight hour, not sure it is because I got no choice, or because it is comfortable to talk to him during that owl hours..

Felt good...

After so long a period, finally got to chat with A. Glad to know that A is doing well. I thought that were something that A was holding something in mind. Just glad that that wasn’t the case. At least I felt that way, unless A kept thing in heart. Well. If that is the case, I also "bo bian", maybe I will find out in near future.

Anyway, just felt good after the short chat over MSN messenger.

First time play guitar in caregroup...

Now is 12.51am, Friday, 23 September 2005. TGIF, Thanks God it is Friday.

Yesterday it was my first time playing guitar for P & W session, I thanks God for having such opportunity. I was most glad when i know that the cg find that I played quite well. A sense of duty "done". :)

I am very thankful to some people, here come my thank you note. Ha ha… first thanks to Kelvin and JianAn, for sharing with me how to play the songs in better way. Then, thanks to Rachel, she was so enthusiastic and patience to teach me just before the cg starts. Big thanks to her, if not the interval in between the songs will not sound very nice…

Special thanks to CC, for she is the woman behind this, I guess behind every new guitarist got a beautiful CL (or a handsome CL). If not for her, I will not be playing guitar in cg so soon, I might be still hiding behind my reasoning of not skilled enough.

The conclusion of the experience is this, I enjoyed myself, though I made some mistake toward the last part, and I still got a long way to learn to play for group setting, but this is a good experience. It kicks me more eager to learn some more songs for future use.

p.s. not forgetting Poy for first time leading praise, he he, i guess he was very nervous, but thank God that he is willing to go thru the "first time" experience with me. jia you, my shepherd.

to Kim: ha ha. Thanks God that you regain the strength when you led worship. Thanks for leading us to focus on God. I myself enjoyed it too. God is nearer than we think. :)

Faith, Prayer, Skeptical

Here I am again…

Today I stayed back in office till 10 plus... dead tired…

Sms CC who is down with fever, saying I will keep her in prayer for quick recovery. Just as I composing the sms, thought came into my mind, it is about “having faith to believe instantaneous healing.” I think she is also puzzled by me, probably she is thinking if I am still alright. :)

Question posed:

When we pray for healing, do we have the faith to believe miracle of healing? Or, because we are block down by experiences that told us hardly we will experience that, unless some healing rally (and only “perhaps” it will happen), so, when we pray for healing, we pray with only “hope that healing/recovery come faster”?

So even when I was composing the sms, doubt already came into my mind, so, if I am doubtful, I am not sure I will see what I pray for, so, in the end, with faith to believe, and it only to be done in the name of Jesus Christ, the Name which above all else, that she will be heal.

Matthew 17:20 “I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Compromised...

It is 1.40am now. I don’t feel like to sleeping yet. Die die also wanna to update my blog. I guess it mastered me somehow.

I was trying to buck up my guitar skill, hope 2 or 3 days playing will help a bit. So, I got JA and Kelvin to help me along to fine tune how to play certain song. Thanks God for Spencer’s guitar class, over the few weekend, I did learn something new from him and from fellow sister like Sandy and CC.

Talking about guitar. I start learning it since my 2nd year in Uni, never really got myself hard on it, just pick up some chords and some song to play for fun. I guess the improvement/breakthrough came during my final year in NTU, that period I was more inclined to personal p&w, perhaps it was due to the stress from school works, especially the nightmare of doing my FYP with that 10%-supportive supervisor… that period due to a need, I somehow pick up guitar faster. Ha ha. Chinese saying still stay true, “Dog in desperation also will jump over the high wall.”

Okie, back to my main point about today entry.

Today I got a bad day at work. I shall skip the details… I learned immediately what it means by “Good intension NOT EQUAL TO God’s intention”, a day after Rev Dominic Yeo shared about this.

Yesterday Guang Rong, Poy and me went for a movie, “Cinderella Man”, a touchy movie. I admired the boxer’s uncompromised commitment to keep his family in one piece despite the tough living environment during the first Great Depression worldwide… after the movie, we went for a dinner, (in fact only GR eat, me and Poy was too full after staffed the stomach with popcorn during the movie). We talked a lot. Guang Rong talked about his physics knowledge which left me and Poy confused and blurred, I guess he succeed in confusing us after failed to communicate the right knowledge. We then talk about the sermon in general. And one thing we all agree, “Good intension can be an excuse for us to justify our action.”

While I had a good intension to help at work, unknowingly, I compromised one very precious thing that I seek to uphold, honesty. Or, I guess it wasn’t unknowing to me when it first came to me, somehow I made the justification myself. Not until today I make a brief report to my boss what I did the last week. My boss was kind enough, (and I always appreciative of this), to tell me, “Honesty and integrity is what make a successful and honorable businessman.” Basically, I was trying to cover up thing with assumption that it help the matters, but, my boss however hold the other opinion, and I was told I need no cover up for company, which it is a surprised to me… and it really humbled me in many ways… and it stuck me in many ways too… thru the years of working, I allowed myself to conform to the pattern of the world (in this case it is what was called “common practice”), and I take on those view unknowingly…

Psalm 139:23-24
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Lord Jesus, guide me in everyday and lead me… let my heart be ever sensitive to listen to the voice of Holy Spirit, and Lord let it not just sensitive, but make it ready to obey It whispering…

I understand this: the more I compromised, the distant my heart become, help me to guide my heart, my fellow bro and sister.

两碗牛肉面

one article that my friend send to me. my eyes went wet when i read this piece... (sorry to sandy.... know you hardly read chinese... but take it as a challenge.. ha ha..)

我读大学的那几年，每逢双休日就在姨XX小饭店里帮忙。那是一个春寒料峭的黄昏，店里来了一对特别的客人———父子俩。说他们特别，是因为那父亲是盲人。 他 身边的男孩小心翼翼地搀扶着他。那男孩看上去才十八九岁，衣着朴素得有点寒酸，身上却带着沉静的书卷气，该是个正在求学的学生。

男孩来到我面前。“两碗牛肉面。”他大声地说着。我正要开票，他忽然又朝我摇摇手。我诧异地看着他，他歉意地笑了笑，然后用手指指我身后墙上贴着的价目 表，告诉我，只要一碗牛肉面，另一碗是葱油面。我先是怔了一怔，接着恍然大悟。原来他大声叫两碗牛肉面是给他父亲听的，实际上是囊中羞涩，又不愿让父亲知 道。我会意地冲他笑了笑，开票收款。 　　 　　

厨房很快就端来了两碗热气腾腾的面。男孩把那碗牛肉面移到他父亲面前，细心地招呼：“爸，面 来了，慢慢吃，小心烫着。”他自己则端过那碗清汤面。他父亲并不着急着吃，只是摸摸索索地用筷子在碗里探来探去。好不容易夹住了一块牛肉就忙不迭地把那片 肉往儿子碗里夹。“吃，你多吃点儿，吃饱了好好念书，快高考了，能考上大学，将来做个对社会有用的人。”老人慈祥地说，一双眼睛虽失明无神，满脸的皱纹却 布满温和的笑意。

让我感到奇怪的是，那个做儿子的男孩并不阻止父亲的行为，而是默不作声地接受了父亲夹来的牛肉片，然后再悄无声息地把牛肉片又夹回父亲碗中。周而复始，那 父亲碗中的牛肉片似乎永远也夹不完。“这个饭店真厚道，面条里有这么多牛肉片。”老人感叹着。一旁的我不由一阵汗颜，那只是几片屈指可数、又薄如蝉翼的肉 啊。做儿子的这时赶紧趁机接话：“爸，您快吃吧，我的碗里都装不下了。”“好，好，你快吃，这牛肉面其实挺实惠的。” 父子俩的行为和对话把我们都感动了。

姨妈不知什么时候也站到了我的身边，静静地凝望着这对父子。这时厨房的小张端来一盘干切牛肉，姨妈呶呶嘴 示意他把盘子放在那对父子的桌上。男孩抬起头环视了一下，它这桌并无其他顾客，忙轻声提醒：“你放错了吧？我们没要牛肉。”姨妈微笑着走了过去：“没错， 今天是我们开业年庆，这盘牛肉是赠送的。”男孩笑笑，不再提问。他又夹了几片牛肉放入父亲的碗中，然后，把剩下的装入了一个塑料袋中。

我们就这样静静地看着他们父子吃完，然后再目送着他们出门。

之后小张去收碗时，忽然轻声地叫起来。原来那男孩的碗下，还压着几张纸币，一共是六块钱，正好是我们价目表上一盘干切牛肉的价钱。一时间，我、姨妈，还有小张谁都说不出话来，只有无声的叹息静静地回荡在每个人的心间。

Regarding Y

On my way back to home at about 6.40pm, I was thinking about someone, and let’s name as Y, and assume Y is guy.

I recalled some little conversation that I had with Y. There were few times, inconsistency were caught in his words, I knew I wasn’t happy with that. I only wish that was only Y’s blunder in his memories. It hurt when you dealing with someone with sincerity and much concern, while the other party playing some kind of hide and seek game and with no full confidence that he can talk in truthfulness and openness.

Well. I felt anger coming up deep down my heart. “Be slow in anger”, so the Word came into my mind. I thought of perhaps what I need was to forgive, however, my minds asks me to just forget about this, perhaps Y just innocent of this. I prefer to believe this, and my heart can calm down more easily. It makes it easy to face Y again.

This is swept thing under the carpet when I decide to not dig into it? Or, I was giving the benefit of doubts?

Just something bother me before I take my roast pork and roast duck rice. By the way, this dinner was a good one. I seldom praise a stall who sells roast pork in Singapore, so, it really has its standard.

Terrible 3 days...

I had been lying on bed for consecutive 3 evening... It was really terrible... In the sense I wasted my 3 evening doing nothing but sleep, and the body was very weak. I am now convinced that I should go for regular exercise.

I wonder what kind of illness I got, if today the same thing occurs again, I will consult a doctor to verify what I actually contracted.

Guess what? I just woke up from my 7.30pm to 5.30am marathon sleep.

Just share a dream that I had just now.

I dreamed that I went back to primary school to attend a undergraduate paper (Engineering Graphics), I met up with a lot of friends, mostly secondary school mate, one of them is my constant academic rival during school days, Siew Yoke. She did better than me for sure, I just somehow make her my target to motivate myself in study. She is now pursuing a medical course in Taiwan, think she will be graduate from the course in another 1 or 2 year time.

I have a lot of friend pursue higher study in Taiwan right after our secondary school. That time, I also like to follow suit, however, financially I wasn't able to make it. During that period, some senior shared with us the package offer by Singapore MOE, well, I thought to myself, it is still better than to study in local university. A few of us applied to study here.

One of my buddy, Yong Ming, we do basketball/billiard/cycling/part time work/watch some questionable vcd/(and some sort of evil activities) together. He got a better science academic result, though I was already a 5 A student. He he. (allow me to be a bit boastful here, anyway it was past tense). However, his england was not powderful as mine, my england was more good than his. So, I was acceptted by NTU, he was rejected...

So, here I am, in singapore, and it is now my 6th year here. :) What about Yong Ming? He is now in England, an Engineer there, doing very well. He together with our "class flower" went to England for higher study, and they are now more or less settled, and we all just waiting for the red invitation only.

So, the chinese saying is always true, "you lose your horse, but you never know it maybe blessing in disguise". :)

In the dream, I also met up with of my primary school companion, Cheng Wei. Well, basically I met up with his family, in the same house that time, now that house was left desolated after they moved out, or, to be more exact, people just use that wooden house for storage purpose.

There are more to this dream. If I were to write them all down, there will be not enough room to contain it, (borrow the phrase John wrote in Bible). ha ha.

Dream is always good, when it is not nightmare. Agree? :)

Thank God for all that experience He brought me thru. Those are precious moment/memory to me.

“The message of Altar”

Sunday, today sermon titled “The message of Altar”, Pastor Lawrence preach on the message behind the bronze altar, it is a message of judgment and substitution.

One statement that stuck me, it is “sin cannot be treated lightly, for it destroys the fellowship between us and Holy God”. How true… as I do some reflection, I really take sin so lightly that it didn’t even alarm me when it gets a toehold in my life… instead of repulsive toward it, I took on a mild attitude, and the consequences is apparent, the fellowship with the Holy one is broken..

Lord Jesus, forgive me for taking sin lightly, it may just mean I taken your grace for granted. Forgive a wrecked man like me, and grant me the joy of having an unbroken fellowship with you.

New start for neohispeter.blogspot.com

Genesis 2:7

the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

so, after sometimes pestering from my cg bro n sis, my neohispeter.blogspot.com shall come back to life.

today unit, GR talk about journaling, so, maybe it is just timely and appropriate for me to start this BLOG thing. :)

and so this entry shall be like the breath that God breathed into man, as man was made to bring glory to God, may this blog bring glory to God as i share my life.