Compromised...
It is 1.40am now. I don’t feel like to sleeping yet. Die die also wanna to update my blog. I guess it mastered me somehow.
I was trying to buck up my guitar skill, hope 2 or 3 days playing will help a bit. So, I got JA and Kelvin to help me along to fine tune how to play certain song. Thanks God for Spencer’s guitar class, over the few weekend, I did learn something new from him and from fellow sister like Sandy and CC.
Talking about guitar. I start learning it since my 2nd year in Uni, never really got myself hard on it, just pick up some chords and some song to play for fun. I guess the improvement/breakthrough came during my final year in NTU, that period I was more inclined to personal p&w, perhaps it was due to the stress from school works, especially the nightmare of doing my FYP with that 10%-supportive supervisor… that period due to a need, I somehow pick up guitar faster. Ha ha. Chinese saying still stay true, “Dog in desperation also will jump over the high wall.”
Okie, back to my main point about today entry.
Today I got a bad day at work. I shall skip the details… I learned immediately what it means by “Good intension NOT EQUAL TO God’s intention”, a day after Rev Dominic Yeo shared about this.
Yesterday Guang Rong, Poy and me went for a movie, “Cinderella Man”, a touchy movie. I admired the boxer’s uncompromised commitment to keep his family in one piece despite the tough living environment during the first Great Depression worldwide… after the movie, we went for a dinner, (in fact only GR eat, me and Poy was too full after staffed the stomach with popcorn during the movie). We talked a lot. Guang Rong talked about his physics knowledge which left me and Poy confused and blurred, I guess he succeed in confusing us after failed to communicate the right knowledge. We then talk about the sermon in general. And one thing we all agree, “Good intension can be an excuse for us to justify our action.”
While I had a good intension to help at work, unknowingly, I compromised one very precious thing that I seek to uphold, honesty. Or, I guess it wasn’t unknowing to me when it first came to me, somehow I made the justification myself. Not until today I make a brief report to my boss what I did the last week. My boss was kind enough, (and I always appreciative of this), to tell me, “Honesty and integrity is what make a successful and honorable businessman.” Basically, I was trying to cover up thing with assumption that it help the matters, but, my boss however hold the other opinion, and I was told I need no cover up for company, which it is a surprised to me… and it really humbled me in many ways… and it stuck me in many ways too… thru the years of working, I allowed myself to conform to the pattern of the world (in this case it is what was called “common practice”), and I take on those view unknowingly…
Psalm 139:23-24
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Lord Jesus, guide me in everyday and lead me… let my heart be ever sensitive to listen to the voice of Holy Spirit, and Lord let it not just sensitive, but make it ready to obey It whispering…
I understand this: the more I compromised, the distant my heart become, help me to guide my heart, my fellow bro and sister.
I was trying to buck up my guitar skill, hope 2 or 3 days playing will help a bit. So, I got JA and Kelvin to help me along to fine tune how to play certain song. Thanks God for Spencer’s guitar class, over the few weekend, I did learn something new from him and from fellow sister like Sandy and CC.
Talking about guitar. I start learning it since my 2nd year in Uni, never really got myself hard on it, just pick up some chords and some song to play for fun. I guess the improvement/breakthrough came during my final year in NTU, that period I was more inclined to personal p&w, perhaps it was due to the stress from school works, especially the nightmare of doing my FYP with that 10%-supportive supervisor… that period due to a need, I somehow pick up guitar faster. Ha ha. Chinese saying still stay true, “Dog in desperation also will jump over the high wall.”
Okie, back to my main point about today entry.
Today I got a bad day at work. I shall skip the details… I learned immediately what it means by “Good intension NOT EQUAL TO God’s intention”, a day after Rev Dominic Yeo shared about this.
Yesterday Guang Rong, Poy and me went for a movie, “Cinderella Man”, a touchy movie. I admired the boxer’s uncompromised commitment to keep his family in one piece despite the tough living environment during the first Great Depression worldwide… after the movie, we went for a dinner, (in fact only GR eat, me and Poy was too full after staffed the stomach with popcorn during the movie). We talked a lot. Guang Rong talked about his physics knowledge which left me and Poy confused and blurred, I guess he succeed in confusing us after failed to communicate the right knowledge. We then talk about the sermon in general. And one thing we all agree, “Good intension can be an excuse for us to justify our action.”
While I had a good intension to help at work, unknowingly, I compromised one very precious thing that I seek to uphold, honesty. Or, I guess it wasn’t unknowing to me when it first came to me, somehow I made the justification myself. Not until today I make a brief report to my boss what I did the last week. My boss was kind enough, (and I always appreciative of this), to tell me, “Honesty and integrity is what make a successful and honorable businessman.” Basically, I was trying to cover up thing with assumption that it help the matters, but, my boss however hold the other opinion, and I was told I need no cover up for company, which it is a surprised to me… and it really humbled me in many ways… and it stuck me in many ways too… thru the years of working, I allowed myself to conform to the pattern of the world (in this case it is what was called “common practice”), and I take on those view unknowingly…
Psalm 139:23-24
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Lord Jesus, guide me in everyday and lead me… let my heart be ever sensitive to listen to the voice of Holy Spirit, and Lord let it not just sensitive, but make it ready to obey It whispering…
I understand this: the more I compromised, the distant my heart become, help me to guide my heart, my fellow bro and sister.
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