After my hair cut...

I decided to devote 30 mins to blog.

2 hours ago, the heart was really restless, I think I lost my patience for things, when I expect the hair cut take 10 mins, but instead it was doubled the time. Well… can see that the hair stylish was trying her best, and she even cut her finger too… I guess she is pregnant woman too…

Well, life is tough enough, and no one should add to other’s burden unnecessary… so, I decide to do my best to give her the best smile after the cut and ask if the cut is deep, as a form of encouragement. If you ever do part time waitering, I guess it is easier for you to show more grace and patience, becos you know you need this most from a customer especially you know you not doing quite up to expectation.

Got a missed call from mother, so, have a short conversation with her and dad. I guess something deeper is stirring my heart; I cannot focus in the conversation. Especially when she start to ‘gossip’ about others, and I don’t like this, I just cannot take this kind of ‘gossipy’ behavior. But what to do? This is her, and she is my mom. Can I teach her the way of godly talk? Someday, Lord, I wish someday I can speak to her about the attitude of Christ, and she will be listening… Why not now? Why not now? You are right, Lord, I can do it now, I need not wait till the day of her salvation. God’s truth and God’s way are to be taught everywhere and are to preach to every nation. If I gonna to wait till everyone is the believer in God, I need not tell them, for they will learn from God themselves…

Had a short chat with dad, after talking to mom. Dad is more of quiet personality, standard conversation.

1) Eaten your dinner? You must eat at least 3 meals a day, regardless if you are saving or not... [At this point, even if I have not eaten, I must tell a white lie, if not, the standard conversation will stretch longer. But I am glad that he always asks this, though I always say yes to it. ha ha. This question is like an ice-breaker question, and warming up session. Without this, I think I probably not able to continue the conversation.]

2) How is your work? You must be willing to learn as much as you can. Ya. I try to capitalized every learning opportunity. That’s good. No need to afraid of overwork, overwork mean you are at the advantage side, as you pick up more thing. [wow. That is like a reminder to me. people like me need to have the right old mindset like my father’s type. ]

3) Don’t be too stress and overwork in work. [This is a bit contrary to his previous point. But I guess he just want to remind me to have a balance.]

4) …

And the list goes on. And a hidden affection resides in this list…

Lord, have mercy on me and my family. Teach me to be a supportive and loving son, show my parent Yours way, and lead my family in the way of everlasting. Pour out Thy blessing richly upon this household. And make this household one that glorify Your name.

... but whoever loses his life for Me will find it.

I recall a conversation with a fren yesterday. He was talking about how a religion able to manipulate the believer (in the sense controlling the thought and mindset of believer). I wasn’t able to give much to that on the spot. But now I have something to say.

Matthew 16:25 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.

It is not able whether our life is under control by a higher form (in my case, I call it God Almighty). It is really about a willing heart to commit one’s life into His hand and to trust in Him.

Well. How to trust when the evidence is not enough? If you do not have the faith to believe in aircraft technology, you will not get on board aero plane, even if I tell you this Air Bus is Un-crash-able and its engine never fails, and it design went thru stringent study, and it has been test fly for more than 1000 hrs.

Luke 7:47-49 Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven." The other guests began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?" Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

By the testimony of many, we move from unbelief to skeptical, and by faith, we in hope want to experience the love and realness of The Great I am. At least I am one of these. I moved from not knowing, to know a bit, to anti-christian, to doubtful, and to with believing attitude I embark on this journal of faith.

Here is one verse to encourage all never get tire to share you story.

For the Bible says:
Revelation 12:11 They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.

We overcame the enemy by the blood fo the Lamb, our Redeemer, and by the word of our testimony.

Glory to God.

Just write something here...

Thinking to write something… I know if I don’t put sometime to put an entry here, sooner or later I will not come here... Well… I must put some effort to keep the momentum. I still very much want to be known and share my thoughts and experience. Not forgetting the purpose and the reason for the initiation of this blog – it is for the “drawing near to God series”, a new start @ 9th Sep 2005.

Man… It never crosses my mind that the “revival date” of this blog is also my 5th Water Baptism Anniversary!!! It is already 5 years ++… 1 fifth of my life. I wonder what I were doing that time, I guess my must be in some kind of struggles that I forgot to celebrate my 5th water baptism date. And if I was in some struggles, why I was able to respond to GR invitation? I wonder… the heart is deceptive and its motive beyond human understanding/awareness and it does not act according to logic/norm…

Today sermon altar call by Ps. Simon Ng is also about reviving the fire and passion for the Lord. I responded. Father God, keep my spirit fervent for Your kingdom. Lord, Jesus, I am grateful for all the love and patient you have lavished upon me, may my gratitude transformed into action. I am quite tired to do “christianity”. Do a new work in my heart. This is what I prayed.

Somehow God just bring to me that He is really a God of “Nth-times-chance”, not just second chance. If God is only a God of second chance (literally), I am gone in my 7th hour after I received Jesus into my life.

Go back to Sunday service, I was on duty for security, so, I sat at the last row just for the surveillance purpose. Half way thru the sermon, while I was busying chop down some preaching point, a friend came into auditorium. Ya, a friend of mine, not a suicidal bomber. Thank God for that. He sat a few rows away from me.

I always wonder what in the heart and mind of the friend who come willingly for the Sunday service. Definitely not for some entertainment for pass time for Sunday. I thought to myself, what could hold back a person when a person heard of many testimony of God’s work. Maybe still doubtful? Maybe still not sure if there is only one truth, perhaps there are many ways to one truth, not just Jesus? Maybe still need more time to gather better evidence?

Well. Whatever it is. There I was sitting there wondering for a moment.

Romans 10:14-16 “How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

When Pastor call for people to respond to receive Lord Jesus into their live. The above Scripture flashed in my head. Well. Though I know this friend is not first time hearing the message of Jesus. But, I thought to myself, who know that will be the a million Malaysian Ringgit question that I asked, and the reply is trillion SDG “Yes, I want to invite Jesus to be my Saviour.” So, with this hope, I just went up to him, and ask him that millions RM question and hope for trillion SDG reply. Well. Jesus is right when he said that in this life we got many trouble and life is not happy go lucky. This friend gave a definite NO. “What holding you back?”… “Many thing yet to settle. Share with you more.”… “ok.”… I know God will do thing in His timing. Never has the proper setting to talk to friend over lunch table. Maybe weekday go to catch another movie. Hopefully that “Oliver Twist” is good. Will check with colleague on the movie. Then maybe go and catch this movie together.

On a personal thought, I thought if Jesus is real and reliable, I see no other better way that offer salvation and true joy that give to us FOC, as the price is charged under the name of Lamb of God. Comparatively to other belief, Jesus is the only one give best membership and best insurance, and best reward, and constant cash debate, best thing is the eternity membership, and all paid by Him. Maybe the only tough thing required from this membership is a willing heart to follow His way. That is tough, indeed.

Back at home, as I carried a big Takashimaya bag when I stepped into house, all the leaders started to “wah… wah…” (There was a leadership meeting held in my house) Expected. Well, that is one of the worst casualties ever happen in River Valley Guy House, total of 5 pairs of shoes was stolen overnight, and total est. lost is about SDG300++. In 2 months time, I lost 4 pair of shoes. 2 is mine, 2 is Kelvin’s, I had been using Kelvin’s thing quite freely, he is really good brother. (Advertising for him... ha ha...) So, I die die must get myself a pair of new office shoes, if not, I got nothing to wear on Monday.

The leadership meeting was about “committed, covenanted relationship”, or something along that line. Had a good chat with chai choo as she waiting for others to go off for dinner. Talked about ‘filling the gap’, I only hope that I able to fill in the gap when the time is come and it is needed. God make my heart ready and my spirit be willing…

Ok. I guess I need to go back to work.. Work… Work…

A funny email came into mind, just share with you all who read this.

One thing we seem to always forget, and we better always remind ourselves of this to make our life easier. What is this thing??

It is “I love my work. I love my work. I love my work.” (Repeat this as many as you need to make yourself feel that you love your work).

Haha.

Psalm 13, A song that marked my first life dark ages

Psalm 13
For the director of music. A psalm of David.

How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.

(Click here to download this song. Hope you all enjoy this song.)

The media player is playing this song now. I still remember this album was bought during my part time job at Amara hotel. I was a waiter in a Jap restaurant, which is closed for sometime.

That was a Christian bookfair organized by a church, they were playing this album – Days of Elijah. The praise and worship style is very jubilant and triumphant. I just bought it.

Never did I know that this album got a song exactly compose from Psalm 13. this song was later became a song that I dwelt with for a period of time – the darkest period of ysneoh’s life, a time of joblessness for coming to a year. My heart cried out, “how long, o Lord! Am I forgotten? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?”… There was no better song for me that time.

But praise be unto the Lord, David didn’t just looked at the seemingly doomed circumstances, David had learned to reflect upon the goodness of the Lord, he learned to look at the unfailing love of the Lord. The psalm (song) ends with a grateful and trusting heart, and so shall my heart be.

May my heart trust in the goodness of the Lord, and my eyes set upon Him who body was pierced for me because of His great love and mercy for me.