When I grow OLD

Intro: A lovely sister translated the chinese article into english. Just like to post this to remember the effort she put i, and share this with all the sons and daughters.

When I grow old

When I grow old, no longer the one I used to be, please understand me, I ask for your patience.

When I spill over the vegetable soup on my shirt,
When I forgot how to tie my shoe laces,
please remember how I used to help u, holding your small hands to drink of the soup, to tie your shoe laces.

When I keep repeating the words which u never wants to hear again, please let me finish what I want to say;
Remember when u are younger, I had to repeat those bedtime stories over and over again, until I see you slipping into your sweet dreams.

When I need you to bathe me, please do not groan;
Do you remember the scenes when I had to keep trying to coax you to bathe when u are younger?

When I stumbled over the gadgets of the new technology, please do not laugh at me;
Remember how I was patient with you in answering you every "whys" questions?

When my feeble limbs are too weak to move, please stretch out your strong and sturdy arms to give me that support.
Just like how I supported you when you are attempting your first steps.

When I missed the focus of our conversation, please give me more time to recall;
To me, it’s not about the topics we are conversing,
What matters to me is that as long as you are beside me to listen to me.

As you watch me aging, please do not be sad;
Understand me, support me,
Just like how you learned from me about living a life.

As I had guided you how to begin your life, please be with me to finish my last journey of life;
Bless me with your love and patience, I will smile with much gratitude, this smile hides my unconditional love for you.


Personal Note:

When I read it again this time, I can feel the love my parents have for me. The love of my mom and dad have for me is powerful. For this I am grateful to You, my Heavenly Father.

Father, forgive me that I have not been patient with my parents and my siblings on various circumstances, help me to have more of Your love, and make it overflowing that my family will know this love is not from me but from the Almighty One. Father, you konw exactly what my family going through, I ask that you bless my parents with strenght and peace within their heart, help my parent to support one another better; I ask that You take away that reckless spirit within my brother, You know he need more and more love, help my parent and myself to relate with him better; I ask also You bless my sister, make her grow more in understanding, and be a good support to my mom and dad, protect my sister too. I ask that Your favor be upon my family, shield them with Your protection. I pray for myself, grant me patience and wisdom, and help me to love better. In Jesus, the most precious name I pray.

Small thing...

Though it is because I couldn’t make it first, but the tone was simply too flippantly. I never know the displeasure (mixed with resentment) can be so overwhelming when you realized that your personal appointment is treated so lightly. The remaining day was almost ruined.

At least I learn 2 things:
1. Never take friend’s appointment lightly. As I now understand how badly it hurt…
2. Learn to manage my emotion, and make it obedience to the voice of HS. While recognizing that I am angry and disappointed is for a right reason, I must learn to accept it as a fact, and not be resentful and put on a positive outlook toward the friendship (or any relationship).

Christian View of Government and Law

I just had done with my reading on “Christian View of Government and Law”. It is an insightful article to give us some biblical pointer with regard to the system that affects every fabric of our daily living.

As a Christian, it is crucial that we understand where we are in this current world, and what lie behind every system. For if we are not able to comprehend the underlying principle of the system we are in, how do we able to survive it, and change/influence it effectively? (As we maybe unknowingly sucked into the ungodly principles that govern the system.)

I hope this sharing of my reading will bring a new light to those who read it concerning government and law. I myself benefited from it greatly.

I would like to highlight certain sentence from the article:

- Because the Bible does not speak directly to every area of political discussion, Christians often hold different views on particular political issues. However, Christians are not free to believe whatever they want. Christians should not abandon the Bible when they begin to think about these issues because there is a great deal of biblical material that can be used to judge particular political options.

- A Christian view of government differs significantly from views proposed by many political theorists. The basis for civil government is rooted in our created nature. We are rational and volitional beings. We are not determined by fate, as the Greeks would have said, nor are we determined by our environment as modern behaviorists say. We have the power of choice. Therefore we can exercise delegated power over the created order. Thus a biblical view of human nature requires a governmental system that acknowledges human responsibility.

- As citizens, Christians have been given a number of responsibilities. They are called to render service and obedience to the government (Matt. 22:21). Because it is a God-ordained institution, they are to submit to civil authority (1 Pet. 2:13–17) as they would to other institutions of God. As will be discussed later, Christians are not to give total and final allegiance to the secular state. Other God-ordained institutions exist in society alongside the state. Christians’ final allegiance must be to God. They are to obey civil authorities (Rom.13:5) in order to avoid anarchy and chaos, but there may be times when they may be forced to disobey (Acts 5:29).

- A Christian view of government should also be concerned with human rights. Human rights in a Christian system are based on a biblical view of human dignity. A bill of rights, therefore, does not grant rights to individuals, but instead acknowledges these rights as already existing.

- In a Christian view of government, law is based upon God’s revealed commandments. Law is not based upon human opinion or sociological convention. Law is rooted in God’s unchangeable character and derived from biblical principles of morality. In humanism, humanity is the source of law. Law is merely the expression of human will or mind. Since ethics and morality are man-made, so also is law. Humanists’ law is rooted in human opinion, and thus is relative and arbitrary.

- Unfortunately, our modern legal structure has been influenced by relativism and utilitarianism, instead of moral absolutes revealed in Scripture. Relativism provides no secure basis for moral judgments. There are no firm moral absolutes upon which to build a secure legal foundation.

- The influence of the behaviorist, the evolutionist, and the sociobiologist are quite profound. The evolutionist and sociobiologist say that human behavior is genetically determined. The behaviorist says that human behavior is environmentally determined. Where do we find free choice in a system that argues that actions are a result of heredity and environment? Free choice and personal responsibility have been diminished in the criminal justice system, due to the influence of these secular perspectives.

- As Christians, we must take the criminal act seriously and punish human choices. While we recognize the value of rehabilitation (especially through spiritual conversion, John 3:3), we also recognize the need for punishing wrong-doing.

Depress...

Depression came upon me half way thru the day… I knew where it came from. I hope this will get over real soon.

As usual, caffeine acts as antidepressant for me. Remember how the psalmist overcome the overpowering depression will help me too. The goodness of the Lord shall be my strength.

I think able to find words to describe the inner emotion are extremely important for a mortal like us.

Gallery for "Be With You"

For me, when it come to movie, I will keep some images of that movie (must be of my liking, not necessary good, as long as i like it), be it the particular scene, or, just the actress/actor photos, i will keep it .

One of the reality of movie is this (My opinion): A beautiful actress or a handsome actor already make the movie successful with half an effort. And then, come the mature acting skills... Another thing I would like to comment about Jap movie, the directors are excellent in filming and capturing the emotion of character, and very thoughtful about life issue, and sensitive enough to linger a little bit longer to itensify the message, and it lead the audience deeper into the movie. And, it flows naturally...

Well, perhap, I am too tired of Hollywood type of movie. Asian movie just give me what I can identify with... The thing that touches me about this movie is the tender sweet love Mio and Takumi have for each other; and the respect, affection, and love between father and son. Yuji appreciates his father's efforts and does his best to assure Takumi that he is doing well. And, the movie also speak about 'Second Chances', Mio's return grant the father and son to put a rest to their presumed fault they done against Mio. Finally, both the father and son able to move on with peace...

Here is some photos for your appreciation. The lead actress Yuko Takeuchi (acted as mother Mio), born in 1980... Man... She appear so mature in the movie, and she is same age as me...

Be With You (Ima, Ai ni Yukimasu) 《现在，很想见你》

Just like to make a post on this movie… This is the 3rd Japanese movie that moved me so much in a year time… 1st, “Nobody Knows”, 2nd “Crying out Love in the Center of The World”…

What so captivating about these movies? Or I phrase it the other way, what is inside these movies that I am so drawn to? First thing come to mind, LOVE. Well, I myself think that love overcame everything. I think I wasn’t so convinced in my old days, I thought love is no doubt a great thing, if not, how could it be sang for centuries, but, the reality of life always shatters dream and break the heart of those who are hopeful. So, love is only wonderful when life is bed of roses. Well, even so, I always think nothing in the world can compare to true love. We read it and we see it from movie, and drama, true love always beat every odds in life. But, reality of life still cruel and it scoffs at those who believe in love…

That was this song “真爱无敌” by Taiwanese singer 许茹芸, I thought it was just another nice and lovely mushily song by another pop star. But, one day I listen to it again, I was so convicted that LOVE IS REALLY INVINCIBLE for I myself experience such powerful love. For the love of Christ testifies this truth, His blood shouts to me that He is ever faithful and His love is ever lasting.

Romans 8:35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?

Romans 8:37-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

(I think I will paraphrase these verses and make it my wedding vow to my wife... eh... pardon me, my mind goes a bit too fast... Ha ha...)

Because I learn of this love, I got the courage to believe in an everlasting relationship, one that builds upon love and commitment. I am glad I believe in this kind of romance. For I survey thru my friends, most think it is only a dream to think about, ultimately love have to give in to reality. How sad… love is being reduced to only a last thing to expect, and if you found it, you count yourself lucky. I thought I must be fortunate enough to be convinced that true love is still around, and committed romance is not extinct yet… Well, give it a second thought, perhaps I am too simple hearted…

And now I know why people rush into these movies… people are hunger for love and the heart crying for another soul to relate in the most intimate way. And I think how wonderful is to love and being loved by someone.

Love is so captivating that people don’t even hold back awhile and jump into one romance after another, but with no true understanding of what love is all about, most people got themselves deeply wounded time and time again. It pierced my heart when I learn of what my friend went thru regarding this area.

Just a note to my friends, don’t think I am crazy and dying to find someone now. Ha ha. I am fine, and don’t think too much… ok? :)

Another note: I find myself crippled by my poor linguistic skills when it come to express myself, either in written or verbal, thousands of thoughts run wild in my mind and emotions make my heart beats fast, but I could only share a fraction of it… How miserable!! I only regret I have not read enough and my reservoir of grammar so limited…

The Room

The Room...

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings.

As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.

A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed at." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers". Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature. When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I have listened to," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!"

In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it. Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it.

The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand. And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me.

I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no, " as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards.

I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.

He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."

About Blogging

Today I stumbled into a friend’s old blog entry and its related comments. It kicks me thinking about the “Blogging phenomenon”.

My stand on “blogging” is this:
1. I blog only thing and thoughts that may be constructive to reader;
2. To reveal certain area of my life to my friend (a progressive approach for me to more transparent for friend that I trusted, for I desire to be know, and know them);
3. To pen down certain activities and experiences to keep my friends update about my life;
4. Ultimately, I wish that my blog able to let people to know of God more, and even more I hope it able to stir within the heart of people to raise the desire to seek Him.

Wilson did encouraged me to reveal all my truthful feelings in my blog, I replied that truthful feelings maybe too naked and horrifying to learn of. I myself keep a book to pen down my thoughts, and my experiences, and it was given the title “My Journal – A talk with God”. The first entry of this personal diary can be traced back to March 2003. I guess that time I wanted to know more about myself. It is very good time for self-reflection when you spend time to write thing down, for your inner conviction/understanding will challenge your sentiment and judgment, it force you to look at yourself closely, like what Bible say “a man who looks intensely into the mirror…”

I believe if we were to pen down the every thought in our mind, I doubt if we dare to put that book in public, for what is within our heart, those surreptitious ideas and thoughts is too hideous to made known. (I now recall a passage that I came across long ago; I shall post it later on). So, as a person, I admit that those weakness and sins I shall submit it to God and account to God in person, or, to those I trust.

Back to my intention of this entry, I find that as a Christian, we are to be more careful of our each entry in the blog, as the blog is open publicly to Christian and non-Christian alike. I am not discouraging truthful sharing, but I urge for more careful consideration when particular point (disagreement within the body of Christ) is brought out. I believe for every judgment and thought is not formed with some simple principles (though some people maybe naïve to think it is possible and some even supposed reader shall have the same understanding to read it accurate as the way it meant to be). Well, I wonder how a non-christian able to comprehend an issue from a Christian point of view. When a Christian share a personal judgment and opinion in blog (when it is not possible to state all the underlying principles which form the judgment), it is unfair to reader, and the people/community involved (when it is clearly known).

How is it unfair to reader? Reader misinterprets the intention of sharing, and form a false idea over issue.

How is it unfair to people/community involved? As the writer not possibly understand where the other party comes from, it is too convenient for writer to share it publicly. Once it is publicized, it is too late for misunderstanding to be cleared, and the damage is done.

For the honor of God’s name, I urge all the Christian to bring all the disagreement in church community to the appropriate leadership/council, and don’t expect an answer from the human’s worldview.

1 Corinthians 6:1-8

Lawsuits Among Believers

If any of you has a dispute with another, dare he take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the saints? Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life! Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, appoint as judges even men of little account in the church! I say this to shame you. Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers? But instead, one brother goes to law against another—and this in front of unbelievers!

The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers.

1 Corinthians 6:12

"Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything.

爱是不保留

歌曲：爱是不保留
歌手：关心妍

http://am.cwflls.edu.hk/uploads/godslove.mp3

常听说世界爱没长久,
哪里会有爱无尽头?
尘俗的爱只在乎曾拥有,
一刻灿烂便要走!

而我却确信爱是恒久,
碰到了你已无别求;
无从解释 不可说明的爱,
千秋过后仍长存不朽!!

谁人受痛苦被悬挂在木头?
至高的爱尽见于刺穿的手;
看!血在流反映爱没保留,
持续不死的爱到万世不休!

惟求奉上生命全归主所有,
要将一切尽献于我主的手;
我已决定今生再没所求,
惟望得主称赞已足够!

Thanksgiving Dinner At Magic Wok

(From Left To Right: Me, Doreen, Hui Shan, Sharon, Xu Qing, Vivian, Kelvin, Poy, Chu Kai)

A much look forward thanksgiving dinner that I know someone will foot it. Ha ha... =)

We went to Magic Wok. Well, at time, I thought it is “Magic Walk”. The Thai food should be a fusion type, one that suit local’s appetite. The foods are wonderful. I thinking next time can get the CG people/my friend to dine here together.

Put the food aside. I enjoyed very much the fellowship and friendship of all the bro n sister. I always think I am so fortunate and privileged to have known them; indeed, this is one of the best gifts God has given me.

Good laugh. Good food. Great bunch of fellow bro n sis.

We all shared individually what we thought of the events, what we learn of from the experience. I think apart from all the learning experience, one of the precious things is knows each other more thru it. I grew to appreciate more the family of God everytime I get myself involved in serving.

I thanks God for everything and every opportunity He given me to serve. Indeed to serve is to experience more of the wonderful things that He is preparing to give onto me.

Corpse Bride

I went to watch this movie on Sunday after lunch. I guess Ming Zhu, Rachel and Lee wanted deadly to watch “Tong Meng Qi Yuan” (A show by Andy Lau, titled "Wait Till You're Older ") or “The Myth” (this one I watched before), so, that time they all were determined to watch “Tong Meng Qi Yuan”. Something about movie (especially Hong Kong movie), unless it got a lot of affirmation, or I personally like it, I hardly take the risk to watch it. So thankfully because of timing matter, we ended up with “Corpse Bride”. I am more comfortable with this one, for I know I will have a good laugh, at least. =)

Anyway, even though we might watch “Tong Meng Qi Yuan”, I will still be willing, for I see it a time of fellowship for some shared experience with Ming Zhu, seldom got chance to go out with her. Lee also a very thoughful sister. Well, they are all very good companion.

I like this movie, a comedy, short and sweet. Maybe I just list down why I like this movie:

1. I think the “grave misunderstanding” can really happen in a relationship. Some people just ended with someone that they don’t expect from the beginning. It reminds me of some of the relationship that I know of. I personally have no such experience. For me, I have only “almost there”... ha ha… So, in the middle of watching, I wanna to see how the bridegroom mends this “grave mistake”. It is very entertaining.

2. The message behind the color theme of the two worlds: grayish for living world, colorful for dead world. The living people live a mechanical lifestyle; while the dead men live a happy life. I wonder how many of us in this life live exactly like those in the show. Anyway, I thought it deeper, what make a vivacious life? It is not what it appear outside, it is what is within the person. Sense of purpose and direction make life full of animation and spirit. A person may be going thru the same routine daily, is this life unexciting? No, who knows what is within the heart?

[I recall one advertisement by Asian Civilisations Museum. ACM advertised on the recent exhibition “ Journey of Faith - Art and History from the Vatican Collections”. It says that TV program kills most people quality family time, as most family spends their “family time” watching TV. It is very true to me. To me, I don’t like those TV drama series, thousands of people doing nothing at home just to chase those drama days by days.However it is easier said than done. I myself find myself also fall into such trap when I am back at home. Perhaps it is already a cultural thing that family (Malaysia and Singapore family only?) does not sit around dining table for dinner, instead, they will get all the portion of dishes ready in their plate and eat it while watching TV. This is my family dinner hour. Perhaps one day my family life will be livelier…

To go into this, I guess my parents also have nothing better to do during evening hour. I am not with them; I can’t give them any alternative to spend family time. Thousands of thoughts flood my mind now whenever I think of my family. I wish I could be with them, but the reality of life and cruelty of financial burden pinned me down in Singapore.This afternoon I make a call to my mom to confirm my schedule back to home during the coming Deepavali public holiday. I wish I’m able to spend more days with them for that particular weekend. My dad and sister will be on China trip that week; I guess my mom will be very lonely at home. I wish… and I wish again I may spend quality time with mom and brother during the short few days…

God, when is you’re Your salvation will come upon my family? When they will able to acknowledge you as a faithful God? And when will they taste of the living water that comes from You where they will never be thirsty again?]

3. The third thing I like about this movie is the message the director bring out. It is not something new – talent within oneself is much more precious than fine look. To be exact, it is the character of a person that able to keep friend/partner for long. I am person easily impressed by many talents one person have, but, what make me stick with him/her is his/her character.

4. I like one of the songs that the Corpse Bride’s close friend sang to her. One particular sentence goes something like this, “the only thing she (the living bride) is stronger than you (the corpse bride) is she is not dead and the heart is beating”. Ha ha. Truly, if I were the bridegroom, I will take the corpse bride, as the corpse bride proves herself to be more appealing and charismatic than the living bride. Well, if this is the real life, I think I will not give a second thought to a corpse… Imagine the exposed bone, the worms within the skull… everything is beautiful in animation, for it ignore about the sense of smell. I not sure how a corpse smells like…

There are more to this movie. Got a good laugh with the people in the hall.

I also shocked Rachel with my scream. Ha ha. Though it is only a cartoon, my heart still very weak against any “surprise”. pai seh... pai seh... I cannot take ghostly thing...