Google on "basics of gentlemen"

After the brother CG gathering, felt rather compelled to have a quick understanding on the basics of gentlemen... I really need to know more thorough on this issues... Maybe what I really lacking is this aspect.

Reaching for my lappy, click on my Firefox, there is my homepage "Google". (Now you know why Google stock price always going up...).

Googled "basics of gentlemen". Objective: To pick a few points and start apply in my life.

Results 1 - 10 of about 648,000 for basics of gentlemen. (0.10 seconds)

Basically, I only zoomed into a few links...

http://the-falcon1.tripod.com/schedules/id18.html (This is most useful and many practical example...)

http://www.stubbornlikeamule.net/?p=405 (This one can ignore... Not very helpful to my objective.)

http://www.mannersinternational.com/etiquette_tips_social.asp (This is a good website, it talked more than just gentlemen behavior, it cover the social grace, phone skill, business etiquette, etc...)

Well. Looking at those points, I must admit that some of "basics" is not build in my system yet... Just list down a few that I would like to try, and see what different will it cause in my daily life.

1. Do not stare. (Sometime I do stare at beautiful creation...)
2. Do not interrupt. (Shall be quick to listen, and slow to talk...)
3. Wait for seating before eating. (This one is in my blood, but, sometime, people just take ages to get their food... Unless, it is a group outing, and gathering, those regular meal time with colleagues will not apply this principle.)
4. Give up your seat. (This really have not come across my mind... If next time come across this situation, I will try to do this.)
5. Ask if she needs anything. (Well... Not everytime ask this question, but, hopefully when I do ask, it does not feel awkward...)
6. Open doors. (Normally when a lady is walking very close behind me, walking distance of less than 3 secs, I will hold the door and let her pass first. Been practicing this quite well in company. Probably, will extend that timing to 5 secs during Unit/CG setting...)

Yup. I think the above are some of the thing I will do it... After some thougths on this topic, my definition of true gentleman, "A person that love people so much, that he is willing put other's interest and need first, and doing it even it is not himself. And, understand the different between man & woman, he is willing to do what a woman expected of him as a social norm, as an expression of love."

Back to the brother CG, it was really a good time to get together. Few thing that I take home:

1. I probably cannot be too comfortable during CG gathering, lest I will be just be my old self. KK was very right in saying, "If you always be yourself, how would you grow?". One needle see blood. I got the point.
2. Looking at the demand/requirement of "gentlemen". I only can look to the Fruits of Holy Spirit in Galatians 5:22. Only with the Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, &, Self-control, and really only with all this quality of character in a man that qualify him to be a gentlemen that is pleasing not only in God's eye, but, it is brilliant to people around him.
3. Listening to Jian Ming's sharing on his courting experience, I am quite comforted that even a mature man like him cannot understand women's that everything-entangled-messed-up-no-clear-beginning & ending-emotion... Really, maybe I should not so frustrated and angry when any lady so moody, after all, woman are wired that way... As I expect acceptant & patient upon myself, I shall do the same to others.
4. On being mature. Growing in godliness shall do this job.
5. On being decent. Li xiong said, "a peanut to you, could be a mountain to me...". So, what is decent man? I think I shall look at the life of Jesus. He is surely beyond decent. Beyond the social norm, that is the Spirit of Excellence.
6. Care taker of one self and others under his care. Trying.

On the subject of Drunk

Let me recall those few times that I was really drunk and in semi-unconsciousness (half dead)...

The very first time:

It was the period that after high school graduation and waiting for university term start. That was the very first time I not staying at home, and renting an apartment nearby Sunway Pyramid shopping mall (doing a part time job there). Me, one buddy, three lady classmates, and one more ad-hoc buddy... Very comfortable staying together experience. That was the first time close proximity with opposite gender. And, apparently, nothing had happened. ha ha. But, I gain friends that is dear to heart...

One of night, after works, we all decided to go a club for drinks, why, just to drink... For me, that was a place I think everyone just indulged and soaked into heavy metal music with deep bass that blast against the eardrum. The mind & sanity got blurred, and what is right become not important, what is wrong can be pardon.

Anyway, back to my 'drunk' experience'... I really cannot take alcohol, i only took two cans of Carlsberg and I already cannot stand by myself... Vomited my supper out. My friends bring me out of pub, and I just wanna to sleep, and, the road seem so comfort to lie along, I just laid flat on the road... Forgot how I make it back to apartment... The next morning woke up, I sort of talked to myself, never again drink beer...

2nd time: Chinese New Year. Should only 2 years ago... I was reading this book "When Boy Meet Gal", then, I thought to myself, "Isn't it the best time I try to practice and learn to get use to beer at home now? No one around and I can take my own sweet time to drink..." I then took one can of Carlsberg (again...), I drank it slowly, and I try to read book again.... Somehow, I cannot read book... The heart beating fast... and getting faster... I think the beer already took effect. So, just leave book aside, sleep on the floor and take some rest first... After awhile, my father came to ask me eat dinner... Stood up, and fell on my knees... Cannot stand by myself... The feeling of vomiting came... and I vomit into the sea.. Sleep again... Woke up for supper instead of dinner. My cousins and my mother laugh out their teeth... This time, only 1 can of beer...

3rd time: This was the most recent account... Friday evening. Went out with Law & his group of colleagues and xiang jun, hui jun. After dinner, Melvin treat all of us for a drink at Clarke Quay. Decided that I will drink some, but definitely will not over drink till cannot walk by myself. Reach the pub, sat down, Melvin ordered Chivas 12 year, with greentea as mixer go with the whisky. The Chivas with Greentea is surprisingly nice to drink, it just didn't taste like alcohol. So, playing some Poy's favorite game (The Ultimate Number), play Big-D card game... Sing one song together with Melvin. Then, I started felt sleepy, I thought it was quite late... But later on, I realized it was the whisky started to take effect... And it is very BIG one... Rest at the sofa. Woke up by Law, it was already 2am. My eye wide opened. My mind flew to my works, I still need to do some works on the next day... Then, I knew the chivas+greentea is too deceiving le. Anyway, cut the story short, whatever prawn noodle that took in during dinner all come out very clean... Really thank God for lawrence and lay peng bunch of peoples, they been very nice and try to help me to wake up from my semi-dead status... ginger tea, mineral water, wet tissue, plastic bag... Whatever they can think of... Reached home 2 plus am... i continued to struggle till 5am, till the last drop of alcohol was dispel from my stomach... Then, I able to slept soundly till 8 plus am. and By God's mercy, I woke up, a bit headache, but still able to head toward office to finished off whatever needed to be done...

Anyway, when I reflect upon the last incident. It is really a bad testimony to the two new friends, and hopefully will not affect LP and the two xiao mei mei... This was my first drunk experience in public setting. And, this shall be the last.

Conclusion from my experience:
1) Only drink a bit socially, and if wanna to get more, make sure you are with familiar crowd. (This principle not applicable to lady).
2) I ready become very off guard when I am with familiar group. During my few business trip, I also drink a few cup with colleague during meal time, but, never reach such semi-dead status.... Perhaps, i should be more on guard even with close friends.

But, would I miss something if always on guard? Can let go a bit when I am with frens? Holy Spirit tell me No. Be on guard and let not caught in situation that it is a bad testimony for the sake of the Gospel.

Back to my blog~~~

I am back to my blog again. =D Thank you, sister. I feel really like a kid whenever you kick me on this.. Ha.

There were many things in my minds when I am not in front of this blog. Now that I wanna to write something, they all hide away from my reach.

Now that my housemate watching that Singapore drama "有福". Talking about this man, 有福, how he experience thru life from less-than-average person till his well to do successful person, recognized by people. Listening to all the conversation, I kind of irritated by all the conversation... Very conversation is a typical quarreling and shouting... I really hope most family is not like that.

Well. I also grew up in this kind of environment. Probably worse. In my memory, almost everyday there are something to quarrel about... And, people in the family were very lacking in patient... Thing were not good when I still young, generally. Family financially not well to do. My bro and sister's condition really add unto parent the kind of pressure and emotionally straining...
Thinking back. The only thing that make a different within the house, it is really the heart attitude that able to be content about situation, like what Paul said, "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

Sometime it is really not easy, I guess. While I think now the family is quite ok, I look at it, I was thinking probably can buy a new TV to replace the old TV that not functioning well... Not because vainness, but because I think my mom n dad reserve that little enjoyment and delight. Probably should be more relax in family spending, enjoy a better quality life with higher spending... Of course, it is a struggle between comfort and financial strain...

Somehow, it became a natural reaction, that, I look at thing in a way how monetary can make thing better. Maybe an after-effect when life was too poor during childhood day. :)

Think drifted away from what I wanna to talk... I wanna to talk is, as a person, only the Joy, Peace, and Love able to make a happy soul and lead a 'less quarrelsome life'...

By the way, do I have this qualities? Please leave a word... and give me advice from your heart if you had read this. :)